I shouldn’t be here.
I almost wasn’t.
Strangled by negativity
Forced to work and do.
Pressured to be someone else.
Head spinning in circles
and waking up to the same old thing.
Begging for the day to be over.
Hoping for tomorrow to be different.
But everyday became harder.
Each day seemed worse.
I slowly lost myself amidst the waves of life.
The storm grew so great and terrible
that I couldn’t see the sun ahead.
Dreading life itself
I pushed on.
I wasn’t living.
Liberated, yet dying,
trapped inside myself.
Praying for the answer to my misery,
longing to be the mom my son needed,
wishing for the wife I wasn’t.
Deep down knowing there was something dark
eating my soul and entire being.
Many years of yearning,
pining for freedom.
Never having the strength to break the cycle.
Struggling to be free from imprisonment.
My best friend was the enemy.
Disguised in all his glory.
The enemy was myself.