Life can make people lose sight of the core of who they are. Work tasks pile up, the house is a mess, kids are sick, and bills still need paying. At the same time, spouses might be dealing with difficulties in their life. When the world comes crashing down, people lose themselves and forget who they are at their core. They begin to compromise themselves in order to cope. It is always important for a person to reflect on who they are, where they are going, and what they need to do to get there.
Who Are You?
” ‘Who are you?’ said the Caterpillar.
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, ‘I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.’
‘What do you mean by that?’ said the Caterpillar sternly. ‘Explain yourself!’ ”
Lewis Carroll – Alice in Wonderland
When a person falls upon hard times, they can sometimes forget who they really are. An individual becomes intent on surviving the ordeal, even if it means compromising themselves. One day the person is kind, generous, and focused on their family. Then when crisis hits that person becomes selfish, argumentative, and solitary. When it comes to emotional survival, sometimes people will forget the core of who they are.
It is important to take time to question one’s self on a regular basis, but especially in times of crisis.
- Who am I?
- What are my core values?
- Am I living according to those values right now?
Where are You Going?
“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door,” he used to say. “You step into the Road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to.”
JRR Tolkien – The Lord of the Rings
Goals and paths change in life. In fact, if they don’t change, a person has some serious problems. However, people can lose sight of those goals during a crisis. When survival becomes the key focus, other goals and paths seem to vanish. While getting through the crisis needs to be the current objective, it is important not to forget other goals in life. I’ve heard many POW stories in which the very key to the person’s survival, was making plans of what to do with their families once they were free. Those soldiers were true to their core, even in crisis.
Here are some questions to ask about the journey to help keep focused.
- Where am I going?
- What am I going to achieve after this crisis is over?
- What do I want for myself, my family, my friends, and my life?
How Will You Get There?
“Wendy: But, Peter, how do we get to Never Land?
Peter Pan: Fly, of course.
Wendy: Fly? ”
Peter Pan – Disney Film
Once a person has reflected on who they are and where they are going after the crisis, they can begin to plan how to get there. It isn’t enough to get through a crisis. One has to know how to rebuild after it. Having a goal or destination with no action is meaningless. Part of a person’s core is acting on their dreams and goals.
Here are some things to consider, even in times of crisis.
- What goal can I take a few minutes to focus on, even while dealing with the current crisis?
- Can I work for just 10 minutes a day on achieving that goal?
- What is the next, and only the next, logical step to get closer to my goal?
Trials and hardships will come in life, there is no question of that. It is important that when they do, a person stays true to their core values. By asking “Who am I”, “Where am I Going”, and “How Will I Get There”, it keeps a person focused. Not only can it act as a respite from the current crisis but, those core values can bring a person successful through it. The most important key to survival in a crisis is not compromising one’s core!